Coed dynamics, nihon style

Segregation is very much alive in Japan. Specifically, gender segregation. Its presence can be felt in America too, for sure, but I wonder if there are other places with such a wide divide present for reasons other than religion. Maybe you aren’t even convinced there is a big gender separation in Japan. But according to the Japan Times, “when it comes to gender equality, Japan has no shortage of distressing figures.” But without even going into gender equality, there are things any casual outside observer might realize about Japan while hanging out on a college campus.

First of all, in coed clubs, the girls hang out with the girls and the boys hang out with the boys. What, you may ask, is even the point of having mixed gender clubs then? At lunch meetings, you can literally pick out the divide and see all males to the left of the room and females on the right. Occasionally a brave boy may wander up to the edge of the divide to start conversation, but in general there isn’t much inter-gender mixing. I joined the racquetball club at my school, and at times it was almost straight out ridiculous watching a match between a boy and girl. Easily, the best girl was maybe sort of a match for one of the less-experienced boys. In a set, the girl would sort of daintily sweep the ball so that it hit the wall, and if the ball was a little out of reach she might half-heartedly swing for it, but 85% of the time the winner would be a boy, even if you can tell he’s going easy on the girl. But when boys play boys, the style of play is very different. Each takes shots low on the wall that are actually difficult to return, and boys can slide and dive for the ball. Different genders have actual distinctive playing styles. It can be argued that biomechanically, males and females have different body structures and might want to move their bodies in different ways that are more advantageous to scoring and winning a match, but this is beyond that. It’s like in any social context, and probably even at home, girls have a certain set role. At team dinners, a freshman girl will get tea for everyone. Girls organize the parties. But a boy is usually the president. Okay, maybe this is getting a little into gender equality.

Another odd thing: it can actually be pretty difficult to discern Japanese couples. Huh? Those two are going out? I haven’t even seen them talk to each other before, what? I don’t know if discreet dating is the right term, but at times it seems to have a secretive air. In a society where girls are at times in your face cute, and being unmarried at age thirty is a problem, you might think that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is something you might flaunt. Why are couples so hard to pick out? Another mystery.

And one more small observation: my host dad mentioned to me that as little girls, maybe kindergarten age, start to get older, they become less close with their fathers. This is pretty much a hard and fast rule. So there are no real Daddy’s girls.

Well this is only the very tip of the iceberg. And as globalization and culture exchange continue to move forward, male/female norms are changing. We shall see.